Tuesday, July 22, 2014

狼女給乜太的信

此乃已在《熱血時報》專欄熱血娘娘手記》發佈的專欄文章。

親愛的乜太,呀唔係,老母︰

Come on,你哋係咪玩野呀?之前 Daddy 迫我陪你哋去 Hyde Park 影相,又要同妳換鞋又要強顏歡笑又盛(隻鞋好多汗呀妳又唔著襪),你估我唔踢爆就冇人知嗰啲係 PR stunt?今時今日仲夠膽死講話係應傳媒要求,話係為咗叫啲人唔好擔心我先至影。你哋唔好當人白痴啦。That’s so lame you know? 畀啲 friend 見到笑到面都黃呀大佬!

唉,我都算喇,I am a good person and I know that. 我大人有大量,諗住由得件事丟淡。反正呢排咁多事發生,又玻璃杯又五十一萬人上街又佔領中環咁,都冇乜人會記得我架啦。呀妳又無啦啦做乜拿返出嚟講呀?又話畀空間我?係呀我真係需要一個寧靜嘅環境呀,但係最唔寧靜嗰個咪係妳囉。本來好多人都唔知蔡子強有篇咁嘅文,而我更加不知道蔡子強是誰,我淨係聽過啲人成日話佢講埋哂啲「阿媽係女人」嘅野,廢過唔廢。啲廢人講廢話妳咪由得佢囉,妳走去鬧佢做乜呀?妳無啦啦走去鬧佢,咪盞啲人又拿返我啲野嚟講!我真係保妳大。唔識 PR stunt 你問下 Daddy 呀嘛!呀sorry,Daddy 好似都唔係好識……Forget it…

妳話妳從來都係從心而發,直話直說,妳講嗰啲係真話,咁而家即係屈我講大話啦?恕我直言,妳呢啲行為不單只顯露出妳嘅淺薄、無知,而且冷血、涼薄,我真係不禁倒抽一口梁氣(其實咩係「梁氣」?係咪即係 Daddy 嘅口氣?Oh! So臭!Well, sorry 我啲中文麻麻,鬼叫 Daddy 送我去讀番書咩,又話唔送又送)。我實在為我自己,有一位咁樣嘅、所謂(舉手做引號手勢)「老母」覺得擔憂。

老母,為我著想,我勸妳都係唔好再講多錯多喇。我前排喺 Facebook 日見夜見李偲嫣啲改圖我已經唔係好頂得順喇,我唔想再見到妳啲改圖呀。早抖。

昕昕上

(頭盔:本文純屬虛構,讀者勿做真心膠~)

- 熱血時報網站連結 http://www.passiontimes.hk/article/07-05-2014/17537
- Copyright © 2015

更多請看︰狼女給乜太的信

請支持熱血文青課金計劃:http://www.passiontimes.hk/?view=raise2&author=%E9%9B%B2%E6%BB%B4%E5%A8%98%E5%A8%98

No comments: